{"id":1915,"date":"2020-04-29T20:50:45","date_gmt":"2020-04-29T20:50:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.northcentral.edu\/blog\/?p=1915"},"modified":"2021-03-02T00:02:47","modified_gmt":"2021-03-02T00:02:47","slug":"the-grief-box","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.northcentral.edu\/blog\/the-grief-box\/","title":{"rendered":"The Grief Box"},"content":{"rendered":"

The COVID pandemic has impacted many areas of our lives in a variety of ways. While everyone\u2019s experiences have not been the same, one shared experience is that everyone is dealing with grief.\u00a0 Although we are all experiencing grief, it can look and feel different for each of us. Author David Kessler states, \u201cEach person\u2019s grief is as unique as their fingerprint.\u201d Grief can manifest in a variety of ways. There is grief in the loss of a routine, loss of work, or a death of a loved one.\u00a0 Others are experiencing grief with the loss in ability to gather with friends or gather with their community of faith.\u00a0 People are grieving a sense of security or loss of personal space. All around us there are students grieving the loss of their in-person classrooms. No matter how grief presents itself, we are collectively in a state of grief.<\/p>\n

Kessler says there is something powerful about naming these incidents as grief.\u00a0 The acknowledgement helps us process the feelings inside us. When it comes to emotions, it is important to name them so that they can be accepted, embraced, and subsequently managed.\u00a0 Once accepted, one can then find meaning through the grief.<\/p>\n

Many will state that they feel \u201cbad for feeling bad\u201d because they recognize that others are hurting, perhaps even worse.\u00a0 We need to stop minimizing our feelings, and stop the comparison game; it is a trap.\u00a0 Kessler states in a podcast with Brene\u2019 Brown, \u201cworse loss is always your loss;\u201d loss is still loss.\u00a0 We have to recognize that there isn\u2019t a hierarchy when it comes to grief and loss.\u00a0 Everyone handles grief differently, which is why during this pandemic some seem to be flourishing while others are struggling. \u00a0Regardless, your feelings are valid and shouldn\u2019t be minimized or compared to others.<\/p>\n

An interesting attribute to grief is that can ebb and flow from day to day; even sometimes from hour to hour.\u00a0 Lauren Herschel shared an analogy she learned from her doctor. The analogy provides clarity regarding how people feel during grief.<\/p>\n

Imagine your life is a box and the grief you feel is a ball, and the ball is inside of the box, or your life. Also, inside the box, there is a pain button.<\/p>\n

\"Grief<\/p>\n

In the beginning, the grief ball is huge, consuming the vast majority of space in your life.\u00a0 No matter what you do, you can\u2019t move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. \u00a0The ball rattles around on its own in the box and hits the button over and over and over again.\u00a0 You can\u2019t seem to control it \u2013 it just keeps hurting.\u00a0 Sometimes the grief ball seems unrelenting.<\/p>\n

However, with time the ball gets smaller.\u00a0 The frequency of when the pain button is hit decreases, but that doesn\u2019t necessarily mean the intensity of the pain is not there.\u00a0 But it does mean that life \u201cfeels\u201d better because you can function day to day more easily when the pain is being hit less frequently. Although, one downside is that the ball will still randomly hit the button, especially when you least expect it.<\/p>\n

\"Grief<\/p>\n

Christian Neuroscientist and author, Dr. Caroline Leaf, provides some great suggestions on how to deal with grief during this crisis:<\/h2>\n