By Todd Monger, LPCC, NCC, ACS, Executive Director of Student Development
College students have made great sacrifices this fall to help keep their campuses safe and open during this pandemic. I think we can all agree that we will talk about this as a historical time for years to come. Students in 2020 will share the stories with their children of the challenges they navigated as they endured through this strange chapter in history.
As we each take a moment to pause during this Christmas season and students take some much-needed time to rest from the books, it is also important to be mindful of steps students—and all of us—can take to ensure we are attending to our mental health needs. This season has impacted everyone differently, yet the common themes of stress, fear, frustration, loss, confusion, anxiety, and sadness are all experiences that collectively take their toll on the human condition. If we are fortunate enough not to have personally encountered these feelings at some point, I could almost guarantee all of us are close to someone who is going through one or more of these experiences right now.
The following are a few resources for families to consider talking about over the break and perhaps taking some time to attend to as a family, with intentionality, as we all continue to be healthy together:
Stress
Stress can often present itself in the following ways: lack of sleep, poor eating habits, lack of exercise, constant worrying, irritability, shortness with others we care about. Interestingly, the three things that contribute most to anxiety and depression are sleep, diet, and exercise. Finding ways to attend to these three items over break are great steps towards rejuvenation. Disconnecting from media, taking walks, keeping a regular sleep pattern, and journaling about thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are examples of steps that can help stress reduction.
Grief
Grief has become an all-too-familiar companion in 2020. From loss of graduations to loss of connections with friends. From loss of freedom and autonomy to loss of the things we often took for granted. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified the five stages of grief as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Yet, these stages are not linear or cyclical. I believe people experience these stages of grief like a balloon releasing air, flying randomly through these feelings [Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression] in different and sometimes repetitive order until the air has gone out of the balloon and reaches “acceptance.” Later, triggers [new loss] walk back into our life, pick up the “balloon,” reinflate it, and let it go all over again! Off our emotions fly once more from denial to bargaining, to anger, to denial, to depression, back to denial, and so forth, until acceptance is reached again. Recognizing that we are all experiencing grief in different ways, with different amounts of “air in our balloons,” is an important metaphor when supporting one another. I recommend taking a deep breath and slowly, with intention, breathing through the emotions to find truth in the situation. Look for both thankfulness, compassion, and inner strength from times you have succeeded before—and can do so again.
Self-care
Self-care is a word that is being talked about a lot lately. Yet self-care is not just “doing whatever the self wants.” Staying up late watching the latest steaming series might feel good, but it is not self-care. Playing video games may be “me time,” but it is not “caring time.” Not getting out of bed until two in the afternoon might seem restful, but it is not building resilience and strength within one’s personhood. Finding time to “rebuild” depleted resources emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and physically is key to self-care. I once heard it said, “nature does a much better job absorbing my stress and anxiety than people do,” and I have found this to be so true. I encourage you to find nature in different and unique ways this season. Be completely present when staring at the fireplace; smell the evergreens when you go for a walk; stop and look deeply look into the eyes of your beloved pet; walk in the snow and listen for the sounds of nature to restore your soul. Whether it is during your devotional time with the Lord, your exercise schedule, or spending time with others, make room for nature, and see the difference it can make.
Seasonal changes
Seasonal changes in the northern states may also contribute to one’s sense of feeling out of equilibrium. Shorter days, colder weather, and lack of natural sunlight impact our moods greatly. Combine this with the COVID climate, and this season can seem just that much more challenging to climb. Consider investing in a dawn simulator alarm clock as a Christmas gift that awakens you with a sunrise instead of shocking your system into the day. Talk with your doctor about vitamin D supplements, a key vitamin gained from sunlight that can greatly impact mood. Try going to sleep with a sleep sound of “rainstorm” or “night sounds” that allows the body to disconnect from relational concepts with people often found in music or a mind that will not shut off. Finally, those of us in Minnesota know that “there’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing!” Challenge yourself to organize your day in such a way as to get outside to improve your mental health. In an era where we are doing things remotely, consider where you study or work, and see if you can maximize that experience to improve your mental health.
For more reading and resources, check out:
Sour Mood Getting You Down? Get Back to Nature
The Surprising Mental Toll of COVID
The Mood-Boosting Power of Ecotherapy
Shedding Light on Dawn Simulation
Todd Monger is the Executive Director of Student Development and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor. He helped create the Student Success Center at North Central University, a one-stop structure that enfolds student services including academic support, career services, therapeutic services, and accessibility services.
